Cactus goes to a Ponte Vedra party

A rich man over in the big city of Ponte Vedra Beach decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies, neighbors, and being a reader of Southern Outdoors he also invited Cactus Jack.  

Being early fall and the weather being wonderful he held the party around the pool in the backyard of his beach front mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking Champaign dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ.


At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 12-ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Cactus in the pool. It was only seconds and the gator was all over him. Cactus was fighting back and of all things it looked like Cactus was winning. Ol Cactus jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo instructor. The water was churning with blood and the splashing was going everywhere. Both Cactus and the gator were screaming and raising a ruckus. Finally Cactus strangled the gator and left it floating to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Cactus then slowly climbed out of the pool exhausted laying there on the pool deck. While everybody else was just staring at him in disbelief the host comes over to him, and says, "Well, Cactus, that was some show, I guess I owe you a million dollars." "No, that's okay. I don't want your money," said Cactus.


The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.

"No thanks, what would I do with all that money, I already have everything a man could want” answered Cactus.


The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something”; Confused, at Cactus refusal of his money the rich man asked.”Well, Cactus, then what do you want?" Cactus now standing to his feet said, " Well Sir, I want the name of the A-hole that pushed me in the pool."